Hopeless Attempt at Loneliness
by potterhead0013
Summary: It was all for nothing. He is gone and is never coming back. I wish everyone would understand my need to be alone. But alas, they dont and try to help me forget. But i don't wish to. I need to remember. Because remembering keeps me sane.


BPOV

BPOV

It was all in vain. A sad attempt my love—Edward. And now the love of my life is no longer with me. Why, you may ask? He heard from _Rosalie_, ugh! that I jumped off a cliff to kill myself. But alas that is not what happened. I was jumping for fun, honest. Anyways, she found out and he figured that since I no longer "existed" that he shouldn't either so he went to Volterra to find the Volturi to ask them to kill him.

Alice, bless her soul, had a vision of both me jumping off the cliff and not resurfacing, and Edward attempting to kill himself. To make a long story short Alice shows up at my house thinking she was going to comfort Charlie only find my walk through the door. I was so happy to see her that I ran straight at her not minding the fact it was like running into a brick wall. I cried like a baby and wouldn't let go of her for hours. But of course, my happiness could not last…it never did. While holding me in her arms while I cried she had a vision. A vision that later led to us flying across the ocean all the way the way to Italy. That is where my life ended.

_Flashback_

_We were sitting on my couch, me on her lap, her brushing my hair with her fingers, when all of a sudden she stopped and started to have a vision. I watched her as she had her vision. Oh how I missed my pixie-like friend! She came out of her vision a few minutes later with a panic stricken face._

"_Bella! Go write a note to Charlie telling him you'll be back in a few days." Alice said extremely fast while she ran me to kitchen to place the note._

"_Uh Alice, what's going on?" I received no answer. By now we were already in the car and she was on her phone talking to fast my human ears to hear. When she was done that phone call, she made another to the airport to get us tickets to New York and from there, Italy._

_I still had absolutely no idea what was going on and I intended to find. Once we reached the airport we ran all the way through it to get to our terminal. Once on the plain I drilled Alice for questions. _

"_Would you please tell me what the HELL is going on?" I said in a very aggravated tone._

"_I had a vision."_

"_Well no duh! Please just tell me what is going on." I was practically begging now. She wouldn't tell. She would barely even look at me. "Alice please. I need to know."_

"_Bella," she said in a gentle voice, "Edward is going to ask the Volturi to kill him."_

"_HE WHAT?! Why?" People in our cabin turned to look at us because of my outburst._

"_I told Rosalie when I left about the vision that I had. She must have told him that you died." Stupid Rosalie! I can't believe she would do something like that. I knew she hated me but does she have any idea what she has just done?! By this there were tears streaming down my face, but Alice paid no attention. She was too busy trying to see what was going to happen with Edward and the Volturi. _

_So I sad there the whole flight thinking the worst about Edward and not knowing what my future would hold. All I know is that I, the human, was going to meet the Volturi. Just that thought makes my heart beat faster and chills go down my spine. After a really long flight we finally make it to Italy. Alice proceeds to steal a yellow Porsche and we race to the walls of Volterra. Of course there is a guard at the gate and it just has to be sunny. Alice flashes him a smile and he melts so we get into the city without a problem. But now the problem is the sun. Alice has to walk around in the shadows and I have to run as fast I can just to keep up with her swerving through different streets. After about ten minutes of running she pulls me into an alley with a Volturi guard, I could tell because of her cloak, waiting at the end by a drainage pipe. _

"_You wish to speak with Aro?" the guard asks us. Alice just shakes her head and holds me against her to keep me safe from the guard. "Come with me then." And so we follow her down the drainage pipe and through the underground path towards the Volturi home, if it can be called that._

_As we reached the doors she walked in ahead of us and two others that came out of nowhere were behind us. Alice now had a death grip on my waist and if she squeezed any harder I think I would have internal bleeding. We waited in the lobby for about fifteen minutes. Those were the longest fifteen minutes of my life. Finally the receptionist, who was definitely a human, said we could go speak to Aro. We walked through intricately patterned doors to the throne room. What we saw next was the most awful thing I have ever seen. _

_Edward was there but he was fighting with the guard. I was shocked. I couldn't move, couldn't think straight. All I saw was my Edward fighting three vampires, and then he was on the ground screaming in agony. Alice was growling next to me and before I could even blink she was attacking the smallest of all the guard._

_Everything after this point becomes a blur. I was pulled aside by something extremely cold, I didn't protest. I couldn't. I was stuck watching my family fight and it appeared that they were losing. I didn't know what to do. I was terrified I was going to lose the two people who meant the most to me in the entire world_—_my sister and my love. I started struggling against my captor so I could get to my family. I didn't know how I was going to help but I knew that I had to do something. My captor just held my tighter so I fought harder. I couldn't let them die; I had to get to them. The person holding me got fed up and I guess hungry cause the next thing I knew there was a searing pain in my neck and then burning. The burning hurt so bad that it was hard to breathe. My captor was thrown off of me by someone. That someone held me in there arms while I screamed in agony. I didn't want to open my eyes because it hurt but I wanted to know who was holding me. I opened my eyes and got the shock of my life._

_There about ten feet away was a fire that was emitting purple smoke. That could only mean one thing. One vampire was dead. I could only pray to God that it wasn't Edward, anyone but Edward. That's when I looked into the familiar topaz eyes of the person holding me. But they were not Edward's eyes, but Alice's. Her eyes did not hold the excitement they usually held. They were dull and full of pain, and in that moment my heart shattered because I knew what happened. The physically pain no longer seemed to matter. The emotional pain was taking over and that gaping hole in my chest now burst open and was twice as painful as before. Edward, the love of my existence was dead._

After that everything was a blur. Apparently Aro felt bad about having to kill Edward so he let us go. Alice and I were now on a plane back to New York where the family was waiting for us to return—three days late. I haven't spoken since I was bitten but Alice didn't mind. She hadn't either. She didn't have to speak for me know what she was thinking. Of course she didn't know that. I found out my power the day of my rebirth, if you will. I can borrow others' powers. I somehow came across Edward's power so I can read her mind. It is filled with thoughts of my welfare, how the family will take the news, and if I blamed her for this happening. I didn't, but I wasn't going to say that. I wasn't going to say anything ever again. I was going to sit there in Edward's old room for eternity and never move again. I had nothing left to live for. I am damned to an eternity of loneliness and I can't help but think I deserved it. After all this was my entire fault.


End file.
